Boss, what's vacation?

``Boss, can I ask you something?''

``Sure.''

``Everyone's always talking about vacations and free time and things like that. How come I never have any?''

``You wouldn't like it.''

``But they think it's better than work. They really look forward to it.''

``Remember last year, when the office was shut down for a week.''

``When they replaced all windows? Sure I remember. I couldn't play with a computer for a week. Horrible.''

``Vacations are like that.''

``Oh.''

``So you wouldn't like them.''

``But everyone else does.''

``Ah, but that's because they're lusers, not hackers.''

``Oh.''

``Now go back and write that compiler. We need it last week.''
An algorithm for recognizing weekends and vacations

A weekend is that time when it takes ages for other people to answer mail and talk requests. It sometimes takes several days. I can't imagine what they are thinking. Perhaps they're in the middle of a really intensive game of Doom. It usually takes about two days and happens five days after the previous one ended.

I don't think weekends are the same as vacations. They look the same, but vacations happen more irregularly and can take several weeks at a time. Also, vacations seems to cause changes in skin color for some people, but it doesn't seem to last for very long. (Too bad, a bit of variation is always helpful for those awful face-to-face meetings. Why can't people just send me mail.)