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" A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down. "

Robert Benchley
" An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens. "

Robert Benchley
" Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment. "

Robert Benchley
" As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. "

Robert Benchley
" Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people. "

Robert Benchley
" Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. "

Robert Benchley
" Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony. "

Robert Benchley
" I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess I'll toddle. "

Robert Benchley
" It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous. "

Robert Benchley
" The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. "

Robert Benchley
" There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't."

Robert Benchley
" Blessed are those who can give without remembering, and take without forgetting. "

Princess Elizabeth Asquith Bibesco
" Irony is the hygiene of the mind. "

Princess Elizabeth Asquith Bibesco
" You don't have to signal a social conscience by looking like a frump. Lace knickers won't hasten the holocaust, you can ban the bomb in a feather boa just as well as without, and a mild interest in the length of hemlines doesn't necessarily disqualify you from reading Das Kapital and agreeing with every word. "

Princess Elizabeth Asquith Bibesco
" A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. "

Erma Bombeck
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